Just Do It
By Bill E. Branscum   ©2000

How many times have you heard it? "I just cannot imagine how you do it - raising those kids by yourself." I know they mean well; nevertheless, I find myself wanting to say:

"What part of a broom do you think I find confusing?"

"I've got the washer and dryer figured out but the instructions don't say which to do first."

"Pinning the diapers to my baby seems cruel to me - her too, judging by the way that poor little thing screams!"

Mops and toilet brushes don't offend me, dishwashers and lawnmowers don't confound me and I can follow a recipe as easily as I can crack a Chiltons Manual and tune up my truck. My bathrooms are as clean as most kitchens, my children have never even seen a TV Dinner, my Hollandaise sauce does not come from a package, I enjoy making homemade ice cream in the tree house with my little ones, we are all healthy, happy and well adjusted and I manage to get my bills paid on time.

Whether the Mr. Mom role is tough for you or not, bear in mind that the world is full of single parents and you have a distinct advantage over most of them, since most of them are women. Think that's a chauvinistic remark? Nothing could be further from the truth.

Women are expected to manage as single parents. It doesn't matter how hard they have it, society expects them to succeed, and most of them do. Tragically, no amount of self sacrifice or superhuman effort by a single mom is met with any recognition whatsoever. "They're women, they're supposed to do that."

We have it a bit differently, you and I. If you actually change a diaper before the child is utterly consumed by diaper rash, people will stand and cheer. If you manage to serve a dinner that didn't come packaged in aluminum foil, someone will write a song about you. Do all that and keep your home just clean enough that mold and vermin don't take the place over and you'll be a candidate for sainthood.

Then there are the financial issues. Our female counterparts rarely have the dependable income that they are supposed to since, all too often, their significant other washed his hands of his responsibilities to support their children when he found something (or someone) he'd rather do. Unfortunately, child support enforcement is not always as effective as it should be and it won't be until the Legislature decrees that dead beat parents shall be shot.

While it may be that you are out there bussing tables trying to support five children while your stock broker ex-wife spends a fortune on some "cute young thang" and pleads poverty, most of us don't deal with that to the extremes that single mothers do. Let's us dispense with the pity party mentality and count our blessings.

It is not my intention to suggest that we have an easy time of it; the single parent household is a tough boat to float under the best of circumstances. No matter what the nouveau, knot-head, liberal, social experts say, it isn't natural and it damn sure isn't in the children's best interests.

That being said, my point is, "No matter how tough things are for you, there are single parents out there who have things worse and get no recognition whatsoever for their efforts and sacrifices." Unless you're truly dumber than a box of rocks, you can operate a mop, there is no excuse for anyone to allow a child to suffer due to inattention and you can be the best cook you know if you'll visit Barnes and Noble (or your public library) and work at it.

Gentlemen, there is no way to fail when nobody expects you to succeed. You'll find sympathy everywhere in the world but here - you've got it to do and your children are depending upon you, so lace up those Nike's and "Just Do It."